Growing Up

A couple of nights ago I was sad. I was having a hard time adjusting to life back here. I wasn't a camper, I wasn't staff, my camp friends weren't here with me, and was no longer experiencing all this as a teenager with her close friends. There was a bit of culture shock involved. It was just one rough night and I've been a happy camper (haha, funny choice of words) since. That night I wrote an email to my friend Adrienne, a former bunkmate here in the early 90s who knew of my return. I tried to explain my sadness, and she wrote back the most beautiful note - I wanted to share it with all of you:

Susan my love...

Growing up is the greatest gift your childhood ever gave you.

You have not changed and aged, but you have grown. The big dreams we had when we were young are all coming to reality. You are married to what sounds like "the perfect man", who loves and supports you, and watches you dream.... You are beautiful (always were), and you finally know it.... You are smart (always were) and now you are able to apply that knowledge to something that matters in life. It has given you a rewarding career, and best of all, the chance to share your knowledge of your profession, and knowledge of yourself with young Appel Farmers.

Appel Farm gave you one of the greatest gifts you've ever received...those summers we learned how to love ourselves, how to love others, how to share, how to give unconditionally, and how not to judge. I have never forgotten something Shoshanna Bobkoff said..."Just because someone calls you something, doesn't make you what they called you." We learned to accept ourselves, and to accept others...Who was the girl who always read...had no friends? was it Janis? She had frizzy hair and looked like she didn't care, and no one liked her, but we did, turns out she was a real gem. If it's the girl i'm thinking of, she's on facebook...and is beautiful, and engaged. Did that summer of acceptance from the "cool girls (us)" give her self confidence to find her inner beauty?

I've long since forgotten about the clothes ruined by the laundry service, or the bad meals, or the great corn (oh what i'd give for Jersey Silver Queen right now...YUM!!)...but i've never forgotten who my time at Appel Farm made me, and what I learned. Do not yearn for the past, what is essential is still with you. At the end of the summer after going home, i used to not want to wash the smell of the Farm off my favorite things. I thought "but this is Appel Farm dirt, I wanna keep something that was from there". I felt that way after coming home from living in Africa...no, don't wash away the Africa dirt!!! T...What I realized is that what was "from there" was something no soap could ever wash off...Me...plain and simple. My experience was all I needed. It was in me heart.

My first summer at the Farm, Shoshanna read us "The Little Prince".

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

It was a very special time in our lives, and unlike any other. It is still with you, and you do belong there...with chocolate cake all over your face (i need to find that picture!!).

Appel Farm is a part of you, and you are a part of it. Enjoy this time you have together (cause i'm so jealous)!!!

You don't need us to be there with you. We may be all over the world, but we are together in your heart.

Adrienne

Thank you, A. I'm so lucky to have you back in my life :)

Today's photos: the new buildings at Appel Farm
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=59396&l=6622a&id=611842138